Exciting writing

Some of our students have been working on adding detail to their writing. Mrs V gave four boring sentences and the challenge was to add or change words to make it more exciting.

The original...
She heard a knock on the door.
She got out of her seat.
She went to the door.
She opened it and hugged her Nana.

Here is an example of the changes!
She heard a loud knock on the big, cranky door.
She jumped out of her chair.
She jogged to the door.
She opened the wobbly door and hugged her Nana tightly.

By Layla and Casey

The original...
He stopped the car.
He opened the door.
He yelled at the dog.
The dog wouldn't move.

Changes:
He pulled over in fright.
He yanked the door open.
He screamed at the naughty dog.
The dog was as still as a statue.

By Chloe and Imogen